He always greeted you with a broad, genuine smile, and the goofy look he always had on his face made you smile a little bit too, even on the worst of days. He was the youth leader at the church and served as an exemplified role model for youth of all ages in the community of Alto Estrella. Tomás was on the council for the Evangelical Church for the whole region and was already planning the 50 year celebration of the church in 2020. Tomás put God first, his family a close second, and then let his passion and love for sports shine. He may not have been the best soccer or baseball player, but he loved it, and here, that is enough. We played baseball together most afternoons until it got too dark to see and then our teams would head their separate ways until the next afternoon.
One of my biggest fears and hesitations of joining Peace Corps was leaving behind friends and family, and not only the happy events that would be taking place, but also the sad, unexpected ones like death. I knew I would have a hard time living with myself if something happened to one of the people I care about, and I was not there. Never once did I think about the other side of it. Sure, I thought of the happy events that I would be participating in throughout my journey in the Peace Corps, which was my ultimate decision to join. However, I never thought of the deaths that were bound to occur with my new friends and family as I lived and grew to truly care for them over the next two years. Sadly, now I am thinking about just that.
Tomás suffered a tragic accident and at the age of 22, just weeks away from turning 23, and died on February 14, 2017. The night before he had been strumming the guitar along to his songs at church and now the once sociable, lovable Tomás was dead.
The community immediately went into shock and mourning. Without cell phones, nevertheless phone signal, it is not easy to spread news as fast as one would like sometimes, whether it be good or bad. I was at the little store in the community when Tomás’ brother ran to the first house, Ofelia, to tell what happened. He ran up in tears, explaining what happened in Ngäbere and then ran off to tell another house. Each of these houses then sent people to other houses with the news and so on. As custom with the Ngäbe population, when people find out about a death they immediately head to the house of the deceased. They stay at the house all night long, taking turns comforting and praying with the weeping family, making coffee, and trying to get them to eat something. People sit all around the outside of the house crying, making some conversation, resting, and even the occasional laugh as they try to comfort each other. Early the next morning community members retire to their homes, bathe, eat, and return as soon as possible to the grieving family. Some continue to comfort the family while others begin to dig the grave and build the coffin.
Tomás’ funeral was at 4:30 P.M. on February 15, exactly 24 hours after he had been pronounced dead. Around 4:00 P.M. hundreds of community members gathered together to sing, pray, and weep for the life of Tomás. After the service people were allowed inside the house to view the body for the last time if they wished. The majority went in and the majority came out weeping and wailing like I had never seen before, and I opted out of the viewing. The sounds of the last nails being driven in to close the coffin came from the house and men, both friends and family of Tomas, carried the coffin to the burial spot as everyone followed behind. Young men escorted the feeble mother, father, and uncle and we looked on as the same people who dug the grave placed a layer of sticks above the coffin and then filled the hole in with the same dirt. The family returned to the house while others remained to watch the dirt fill the hole until a perfect mound had been created and a tall stick thrust in the ground to mark the location. Some people left to return to their homes, while still others returned, yet again, to the home of the family, staying, praying, and weeping with them one last night.
Although experiencing a Ngäbe funeral is not something I would ever want to happen again, Tomás’ funeral brought up the topic of death with a few community members, and I learned some interesting traditions that the Ngäbe culture practices.
*The deceased person is buried with their mattress or sleeping materials and sometimes their clothes. This is done as a sign of respect to the person, signifying that their possessions will not be used again as well as to ward off the evil spirits. If someone wears the clothes of the deceased person, the evil spirits will come and talk with that person, which is a bad sign. Tomas’ mattress was placed on top of the grave and then covered in plastic, which is another form of getting rid of the mattress.
*After burying the body the family had to leave their house for four days so that the evil spirit from the deceased would not bother them. After four days of living somewhere else they were permitted to return. This is an older tradition that is no longer practiced in my community due to the fact that most people have converted to Christianity.
*One month to a year after the death, the person’s spirit returns to the family. When this happens they hold an all nightlong service in memory of the person. If the clothes of the decreased have not already been thrown out the family will rip the clothes and throw them on the grave of the deceased as a sign of respect.